Men are happiest when they are competent and in control of a situation. Part of this means defining themselves by their job title and their paycheck. Unfortunately, in some households it's the wife who is making more money every month than her husband. And that number has doubled since 1981. While this is good news for the women who are breaking the glass ceiling in corporate America, it isn't for the men.
Your guy will TELL you that he's happy about the extra money in your accounts or the extra stuff that you'll be able to buy or enjoy with the extra money - but secretly he's feeling deflated and competitive. Some guys will admit to being competitive egomaniacs and others will hide their feelings and keep you in the dark about how badly you are making them feel. And still others will be just fine that you're making more money and they can relax about your financial future.
And, while there are a variety of different opinions from men, it's up to you to figure out which one your partner holds.
Many men believe that their financial stability is equal to their ability to provide for the family. When the finances in the family become unstable or he perceives that he isn't providing as much as he should or could, he will probably feel like a failure. If he takes a cut in pay and he can't pay all the bills he might try to hide that. His fear is that you'll look at him differently and not respect him as much.
Men have a real need for respect, while women have a need for love. When men are respected they are able to give all the love to women that she needs and when she is loved she can respect him. It seems like a vicious cycle but when one of them breaks the cycle it can mean a healthy and strong relationship.
Men have usually been raised to believe that showing fear is a sign of weakness. They don't like crying in front of you and don't want to appear weak. In his eyes, you'll respect him less. But real men face real emotions that they are often pretty bad at communicating.
Men define themselves by the position they hold in the company, by the size of their paycheck and their ability to provide for their family. They may have a more lax attitude about their income when they are single, but a commitment brings this fear front and center.
You can help him communicate his feelings by letting him know that you didn't marry a fictional character, that you love him and that you are a team when it comes to the financial stability of the family. Even if you don't work outside the home, you have control over what you spend at the grocery, on home repair and incidentals. He might bring home the bacon but it's often up to the woman to decide how it's spent. Time to help him feel good about himself, so he continues to love the ground you walk on.
Article source here: What Men Don’t Tell: Money And Jobs
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