There are two perspectives about lying in our society. Well, actually there are three. The first perspective is that all lying is bad. These are the people who walk the walk and talk the talk. They don't lie and they don't tolerate it in anyone else. It is unthinkable to these people that wouldn't tell the truth and that the truth wouldn't be coming out of your mouth. If they don't lie they don't expect others to either.
The second type of person is just like the first, except for one big difference. They don't like it when others lie to them and they give lots of lip service to never lying themselves. However, if it is in their best interest to tell a "little white lie" they are not above making that distinction. If a lie saves them from an uncomfortable situation or from hurting someone else, they'll tell the lie and live with it.
Then there are the people who lie because it's convenient, because it gets them exactly what they want and because it's easier to lie than it is to tell the truth. These are the accomplished liars who don't think twice about telling you something that isn't true if it will get you in to bed, get him a date with you or get that promotion he's been angling for.
Most men fall in to the second category. They don't really enjoy lying and often will tell you that they don't lie. However, many do in order to get around arguments or not spark another one in the current conversation. When he knows what will set you off and get you angry he may avoid the conversation or may tell you an outright lie about it. In his head he'll call it a fib or a white lie because he wants to protect you from the truth or himself from the argument.
But, when women find out that their guy has been lying, they extrapolate the concept and wonder exactly what else he's been lying about. He'll say he wasn't looking at that woman who just passed wearing the low cut blouse but you saw his eyes following her across the room. Actually, you saw his eyes following THEM across the room. And then he said he didn't.
Has he been lying about anything else? If you can't trust him in the small things, how do you trust him in the big things? Is he having an affair? Does he really care about you or is he lying about that too?
The likely answer is that he's lying because he doesn't want an argument about looking at other women. The answer is to give him the option of telling the truth without getting angry and starting an argument. Getting angry might be your first reaction, but it won't change the situation or resolve anything. Instead, it will cause him to withdraw further and keep lying.
If you want an open and honest relationship then it's time that you are honest, about everything and allow him to be honest without you getting angry.
Post source here: What Men Don’t Tell: Lying
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